Good Intentions, Getting Back to Normal, and the Tongue!

Hmmmm! My last blog post was about 6 months ago.  Wow has that time flown. I had such good intentions of blogging more and a list of topics to go along with it.  Part of the problem I suppose is I blog for myself and close family. It tends to be more of a record/diary then anything intentional. I am not really sure who reads it. Does not cross my mind too much.  However still I always feel slightly guilty when I do get back to it. Now that makes no logical sense causing me to feel the need to examine this further. And I shall over grading grammar papers, correcting phonics, wiping up messes, and cooking meals.  Great thinking times those.  I even have learned to think over the bedlam that would be the Woodpile by setting a small corner of my mind to being ever vigilant less the house be destroyed around my person.

Now to the reason my good intentions might have gotten derailed a hair. Because the day after the last blog post I wrote our sweet baby girl decided to make an early grand entrance.  And if the last 6 months are a model of things to come I think that is how she will continue to do things: sweetly, happily, and with a big entrance.  She is a joy. A true testament to Psalm 127:3-5

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
⁴ As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
 ⁵ Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

We are now 6 months down the road.  Six months past bedrest, constant pain and fatigue, and wondering how we are to get through the day today.  Each day we rested on His grace.  And a half a year later it bears testimony to His promise found in II Cor. 12:9.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

And praise Him things are starting to be NORMAL. I know! I can hardly believe it myself. Tonight I looked around to decide what I needed to do before bed.  My Sunday routine is usually to prep for this weeks homeschooling by making sure the schoolroom is ready, the materials needed stocked, and the plan fresh in my mind.  And most importantly by praying for the week to come.  And I had a revelation.  The house was only about 20 minutes away from being company ready. Woot! Woot! Now this does not include of course the closed door rooms: my bedroom and the craft room. lol. But a goal of mine is to always keep the house 15 minute till guest ready. It is important for Carl and I that our house be open always to our family and friends. That we are a place that is known to joyfully welcome unexpected company.  However I also know that I cringe when things are cluttered and the guest steps on toys on the way to the couch.  Then gets seated carefully with their back to the kitchen on the blind hope they will not notice the sink full of dishes and the sticky place on the kitchen table.  How am I to truly be following His directives if I am secretly wishing they were anyplace but here.  I Peter 4:9 says

Be hospitable to one another without grumbling.

Now we are getting out of the house.  I attended my first Ladies Meeting in over a year last Tuesday.  We are doing school at the couch and table not sitting on my bed.

It is a wonderful thing to be normal.

But on to other things and the true topic I would like to examine. Today I was fuming to myself that one day I am going to actually say the thoughts that are going through my head due to a comment that got directed my way that caused defenses to rise up.  There have been a few lately that caused me to have to bite my tongue. I talk a lot. It can be a problem.  But I do try very hard to think before just blurting something out in response to something said to me.  How so very often I strive and fail to react the way I feel like the Lord would have me. Often a quick, fervent prayer and a quick exit helps though.

I have heard that to hide ones  negative thoughts or reactions could be called phony.  However I prefer to think of it as respectful, God honoring, and smart. First reactions can often get you in trouble.  They also can show a depth of ignorance and a lack of wisdom. Ther are only a few things that personally I feel justify me to speak up immediately in defense or rebuke- blasphemy of my Lord, dishonest facts, and blatant immorality.  I know the questions I ask myself as I reexamine it later as to rather I should go back and speak with the person that hurt me or TRULY let it go.  They go something like this:

Am I quite sure that person is wrong? Have I examined why I am so defensive about this? Am I honoring God by making an issue of this? Is my anger at this person truly justified? Am I quite sure that person is the one causing the tension or am I doing something unintentionally or even intentionally? Even if it was said harshly can I learn from this? I might not have asked for counsel on this matter but are they being used by the Lord to give counsel in a needed area? Am I showing the love of Christ in my manner? How can I use this to further His working? How can I use this to be of His service? If I do not go back can I honestly and completely let this matter go not letting it take root in my heart or affecting my care and love for that person?

But do the Bible verses come quickly to my tongue. Because the Word of the Lord and the Word only should direct my thoughts and actions. So I decided tonight I needed to refresh myself on what God's Word has to say about the tongue and reactions. II Timothy 3:16 reminds us that

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

First of all I have the example of Jesus Himself- I Peter 2:23

Who, when he was reviled , reviled not again ; when he suffered , he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

He committed himself to Him that judged righteously. I need to remember that when Jesus was threatened and reviled unjustly He did not in turn threaten. He entrusted Himself to His Lord's plan without interference of self.

We are to conduct ourselves in a manner of Christ Himself.  We are to imitate Him and be a reflection of His Word and His glory.

Philippians 1:27
Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel; 
Ephesians 5:1
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 
Matthew 5:16
  In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

We are to die to self instead making His values our values. His agenda should be our agenda.

Philippians 2:3,4
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Matthew 20:25-28
But Jesus called them to him and said, You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Ephesians 4:22-24
 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness

How are we to speak then. We are to speak with kindness, with control, with thought, with honesty, and with healing.

Proverbs 29:20
Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him.
Proverbs 12:18
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.

And how than am I to respond if words are needed
II Timothy 2:24-26
And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,
²⁵ In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;

The Lord has given me much to meditate on.  Going back to the Word has brought to the forefront of my mind that to allow discouragement, confusion, defensiveness to take up space in my heart and mind is to allow my own self to take priority. My goal should always be to promote His work.  And I am again reminded not with my own thoughts and words but His commandments that I am to be a mirror for Christ. I stand myself convicted from scripture and humbled again by my own failings and His amazing grace. And so very thankful for His scripture to examine my heart by and His death and forgiveness which covers me and is the only thing that allows me to see past self at all. His light pierces the darkest corners of one's heart.

Start at the Shallow End!

As you can see this blog has been silent for a while.  The time of trials was heavy this year.  And writing about it seemed more than I could do.  Goodness do I dislike a constant complainer.  And it felt like that most of what I had to say would sound like a complaint.  Truly, truly I am not ungrateful for the trials of the past year. They were hard.  They brought tears, arguments, and more tears.  But they brought strength of spirit, refinement of the heart, the knowledge of true friendship and caring. So instead of diving in and catching everyone up on the happenings of the last year I shall dip in a toe.  Then catch my breath and go a little deeper. How is that.

In SIX days we will have a beautiful new addition to our blessings- a baby girl.  Name still up for debate but the top two are Audrey Rebekah and Autumn Joy.  Feel free to vote your preference under the comment section. 

 I am ecstatic over this news although in honesty it took a few weeks after finding out. I have always wanted many, many children. Children bring me such joy. They are treasures unlike any other- a gift from God beyond measure.  However I have extremely difficult pregnancies and with 4 other beautiful children we figured that time may have passed.  Always it was His will be done, and we would leave it up to Him- but no trying for us. This decision was a struggle to come to.  I found it hard to combat the resentment that I felt that pregnancies were so difficult for me.  I reminded myself of those who have so much more pain.  Those who cannot have children of their bodies or have lost babies over and over. And I persevered realizing I have naught to weep about.  The Lord granted me the grace to accept the time of my life where it was.  The body He had granted me.  And the joy to be content with the blessings He had already bestowed upon me. I felt content.  I felt rested in His assurance.  We had moved on looking ahead to what awaits.  Then boom! Guess what.

It took a while to sink in. It seemed unreal. Had we not moved past that phase in our life.  But soon the joy took over.  Another little gift from our Lord.  Praise His name.  We knew that the road would be hard. I still had not recovered from the major illness that racked my body the months before hand.  However we clung and still cling to the promise that He gives us no more than we can bear in Him.

These thoughts I will blog about another time.  Like I said shallow water today.  The lessons I have learned, the gift of sacrifice that has been shown, it will take multiple blog posts to even touch a small part of it.  I want a clear head and a sincere heart. 

So today is the beginning of the topic of what do you do when you are stuck in bed for months at a time.  You would be surprised what you can find to do. Family, friends, Homeschooling, laundry folding, heart to hearts with your husband and children, crafts, reading, tv are all things that got me through the long months.  I am going to post a topic on Homeschooling while sick or on bed rest sometime in the future.  We have been doing it for over a year now. But back to the list, tv can only be tolerated for so long.  There are only so many books your mind can absorb in a period of time. Then I really found myself becoming addicted to that amazing place called Pinterest. It grabbed me like a fish on a hook  Called my name at night, "Becca, Becca look at all the decorating ideas, the meals you can fix, the sewing you can do, the crafts."  You see files of ideas, to-do lists, to make lists have filled my house through the years. I adore lists.  This makes my lists right at hand and without adding to the clutter. GENIUS!

 I have planned every room in my house.  Got more crafts planned for the kiddos than we will ever finish. Have decorations, meals, and outfits planned for every special holiday of the year. Reworked my breakfast and lunch meal plans. Oh the joy!!!!!

So I spent many moments poring over ideas, adding to my list, changing my lists, and finally actually doing some of them. So I thought that over the next few days I would share with you my Pintastic ideas.  It is a good thing for me.  It has helped me take my mind off the pain and onto creativity.  It has got me thru many a sleepless night.  And as the nesting instinct kicked off it has helped keep my husband sane as I felt that I was actually accomplishing more than sitting like a knot on a log for hours at a time.

Be forewarned as I am in a baby frame of mind most though not all have to do with babies.  We do have a birthday party in there, a baby shower, an Easter dress, some Christmas gifts, meal plans etc.,so not all is made for baby. I will try where I took pics to show you how it was done. However from the bed it was really  hard to get clear pics of each part of the process. I would proceed slowly as the pain allowed me. Areas where I do not have visuals I will attempt to paint adequate word pictures.

That is all for now, folks. Just a heads up of what to expect over the next few days.  May even post the first one later today.  Should be fun.