For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:- Prov. 23:7

The night grows long. Eyes heavy but sleep eludes. Breath eases to tighten again. Thoughts wander. But where do they go. For wandering without purpose can lead one to being lost. 

A conscious choice to paths of glory- His glory. Did He not tell us so.

Phillippians 4:8

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

To renew the mind, deny the exhaustion of the spirit. I purpose my thoughts.

Truth

Psalms 36: 6,7

Thy righteousness is like the great mountains; thy judgments are a great deep: O LORD, thou preservest man and beast.  

How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings.  

I trust His path. I shelter under His wings.

Honest

Proverbs 26:12

Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope of a fool than of him

Set to do it on my strength- telling myself I was depending on His strength. Such self deceit to cover the sin of pride. Now I dwell on thankfulness for the honest, loving rebuke of friends.  I praise Him for His forgiveness that covers all sin.

Just

A sermon that requires thoughtful meditation, contradictions that are not contradictions at all, and the apostle Paul.

http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/let-god-be-true-though-every-man-a-liar

Lovely

So many lovely thoughts. This takes no effort at all. They flow gently and endlessly.

The smile of my husband that shows nothing but love despite the trials.

A text- "NO! We have got it covered!"

A fridge full up with tangible love

Get well cards handmade

My own bed and sheets for another night

Piles of books surrounding me

Unexpected news that brings joy

Online sermons

A Mother's hug

Modern meds that ease tight breaths

Friends of the heart

 

Good Report

Lessons that speak truth, delivered gently, lovingly, beautifully. Two of many...

http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/blogs/cj-mahaney/post/The-Value-of-Spiritual-Simplicity.aspx?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+sovereigngraceministries%2FCJMBlog+%28C.J.+Mahaney%27s+view+from+the+cheap+seats+%26+other+stuff%29&utm_content=My+Yahoo

Especially Easter- Chapter 9 of Noel Piper's book- Treasuring God in Our Traditions

Centering. This flow of thoughts interrupted by spaces of rest to awake to breath free again.  Thoughts over hours that lead me to more hours of thoughts. And how better to rest if not able to in sleep than in thoughts of Him. A spirit remains refreshed. The body to follow in His time.

Lonely but for His Beauty. Lonely but for His Gifts

I Wandered Lonely As A Cloud by William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling leaves in glee;
A poet could not be but gay,
In such a jocund company!
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

I Chronicles 29:11

¹¹Thine, O LORD is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and thou art exalted as head above all.

 ¹²Both riches and honour come of thee, and thou reignest over all; and in thine hand is power and might; and in thine hand it is to make great, and to give strength unto all.

 

I Taught Myself To Live Simply by Anna Akhmatova

I taught myself to live simply and wisely,
to look at the sky and pray to God,
and to wander long before evening
to tire my superfluous worries.
When the burdocks rustle in the ravine
and the yellow-red rowanberry cluster droops
I compose happy verses
about life's decay, decay and beauty.
I come back. The fluffy cat
licks my palm, purrs so sweetly
and the fire flares bright
on the saw-mill turret by the lake.
Only the cry of a stork landing on the roof
occasionally breaks the silence.
If you knock on my door
I may not even hear.

 

II Cor. 1:12

For our rejoicing is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God, we have had our conversation in the world, and more abundantly to you-ward.

His Majesty shown in the call of the bird,             the creak of the house in wind, 

spring seeds sifted,               the kiss of an infant,        my hand cradled tender by his strong warm hand,

              the giggle of a girl                   Four simple words said softly.. I missed you, Mommy                

With this beauty with these gifts how can one entertain loneliness. His grace given by death on a tree. How can one substain sadness.

The Gift of Aged Love

Valentine's Day is fast approaching.  Minds work feverishly pondering what to give each other, how to celebrate, or for some an effort to ignore this obviously commercial day.

But I like to use it as a time to evaluate my marriage or rather the only thing I can truly evaluate- my heart.  Am I giving myself completely to my husband?  Does he occupy my mind throughout the day?  Does a smile alight my face at the thought of his presence? Does each decision I make seek to bless him as his wife?  Let me put this in perspective.   Not as idolatry.  Nothing should be placed before my heavenly Father.  But rather as obeying the commandments He has given me as wife.

Many go into Valentines Day with high expectations.  They seek to have their heart leap at his presence, to have goosebumps form when he touches your hand, to have the feeling of passion overwhelming everything else.  They think the perfect place to eat, the perfect gift, the perfect dress if enough thought is put into it will make it all just as they imagine. And often it falls short of expectations. In short they desire new love again. Forgetting that like an aged wine love while different in taste and body only grows sweeter.


I have felt this in times past. The desire for our love to be as all consuming as it was those days of dating, those first years of marriage. But then what would I be giving up.  What do I have now- a slow steady burn, a joy in my heart that it always there, the knowledge of absolute trust that comes from years of being held in strong arms, a merging of our lives that make it such that I can't tell where we are apart anymore.  What one often takes for boredom is simply security.  What one often takes as nothing to talk about is simply becoming one, knowing each other in and out.  And what one often takes as the loss of passion is often- well let us face it one's own fault.


Let's think about what brought about that burning desire.  How often was he in your thoughts during those days? How often was what you wore, where you went, what you said all for the purpose of making yourself more desirable in his eyes?  How often would you give a horror filled rebuke if someone spoke negatively of your love- his good SO out weighs his bad. Now evaluate yourself present time.  What occupies your thoughts- for me often it is the school that has to be done, the kids schedule, whether I will get the time to read that book  I really want to read, the messy house.  My decisions based on what will enable me to save the most time not what will inflame my husband or even just bring a smile to his face.  Instead of running to the door at the sound of his foot hitting the entrance of our home  I glance at the time in horror thinking that much time could not have possibly gone by already!!!! And how often now is the litany in your head about your husband filled with his faults instead of his goodness.  And don't pat oneself on the back if the litany is only in your head not gossip filled talk with girlfriends.  Negativity both internal and external only brings challenges and problems to your marriage. 


I challenged a friend a few months ago who came to me asking for prayer and advice about the lack of spark in their marriage lately.  And I told her simply this: replace each negative thought with a positive, embrace him at every opportunity, think about him with excitement throughout the day, prepare for him!  Let self fade into the background and place him first. So simple, so easy to do in the beginning.  But like many things familiarity brings carelessness even with those people we love the most.  TREASURE the gift of love that grows finer with each day.

So I challenge myself as the day of love draws near to spend time in prayer and in His Word.  Search again the commandments of the Word to the wife.  Pray for the Lord to show me distractions that take time from my husband, hidden pains that I may have buried that hinder our relationship, and attitudes I need to confess and change with our Lord's help.  Will you join me?

Nerf Wars- 2011

Birthdays are true celebrations at the Woodpile. Special consideration is given each child on that day they entered into our life.  Carl and I spend a lot of personal time with them that day.  Seeking to make sure they know from the toes to the crown of their sweet head how joyful their presence makes us.  They were a gift from God. They each have a purpose.  The purpose- to serve and glorify their Creator.   

The Birthday Choices

Choice 1-  How to spend their day with Daddy and Mommy

The exact day of their birth if possible is one continuous celebration of a life.  A GIFT!!!  One we take seriously, and one we rejoice in.  We often stay up late the night before decorating the kitchen.  And wake the siblings early, so that when the birthday child comes down he or she is greeted with an outburst of love, song, and hugs. In the morning, I fix their favorite breakfast treat.  Easy at this stage as it is donuts one and all. Yes, I am thankful!!! The morning is spent doing whatever it is that day usually entails- you know cleaning, school, FB, cleaning, school, cleaning.  Then when afternoon rolls around and the babysitter arrives we embark on our birthday adventure.  We try not to spend too much money going to movie theaters.  Both of us think there are better ways to spend a quick $50 bucks. But each child on their birthday gets a choice of going to a movie.  Most of the time they choose to go. Afterward usually is an activity of choice such as rock climbing (a favorite of Andrew's) or window shopping at the Disney store (favorite of the girls). Then we are off to dinner at their favorite restaurant.  This is my most precious birthday time as we talk about the year past.  Encouragement for them to express their feelings, thoughts is given. We encourage the child as maturity enables them too to express where they succeeded in the Lord, and where they need to improve. We talk about changes in discipline they would like to see, how we are doing in their eyes,  added responsibilities, bigger expectations.  And Carl and I are open in our assessment, liberal with our love, and generous with our praise. Each child looks forward to their birthday dates. This does not have to be expensive though. A walk in the park and the same talk at a fast food place will accomplish just as much. The purpose is that special time where they have BOTH parents full attention for more than 20 minutes. We do individual times with each child - Dad with son while Mom is at home with the others or Mom with Fudge Brownie per-say . But this is our time with them alone.

Choice 2- Gifts or Birthday Party

Each child gets the choice of a special planned party with their friends or more gifts. Christmas we feel we should emphasize Christ's gift to us and giving to others. Personal gifts are minuscule. On their birthday we try to have a few special things we have observed them liking but amount depends on their choice of party or choice of same amount spent on gifts only. Each child always chooses a party with friends. Choosing instead to share with others the joy of the day. We put work into the planning and implementation to make it special. Quizzing them on what they want, who they want there, what their expectations of a perfect party for this year looks like. Then the planning begins. We do a lot of creative crafting to keep the cost down. And utilize Oriental Trading!

 

Andrew's 10th Birthday- Nerf Wars

This year our Buddy decided on a Nerf theme.  Here is the result.

Invites

A simple e-vite invitation.  I have made it easier and cheaper through the years. Gotta to do what a mother has got to do!

Decor

This one was difficult this year. There was no way I could turn my house into a training facility. No! no, no naysayers. If you think differently keep it to yourself. So again I kept it simple using simple camo paper products, balloons in black, brown, and green, and liberal use of a plastic roll of black tablecloth (on sale yay).

I also turned the kitchen into a snack "Mess Hall" with bowls of raisins, nuts, and M&M,  Crunchy Cheetos, organic fruit jerky, and drinks.

Games

As they came in they became proper Nerf Strike Team cadets. All cadets must look the part of course.  They got their dog tags (Party City), camo grease paint, and team bandannas. I also supplied each child with a notebook to keep a record of their achievements at the Woodpile Nerf Strike Training Facility. (again Party City)

ATTENTION, cadets! Head up, chest out!

Next we assessed physical conditioning. Each team (there were two- blue and yellow) squared off in a push-up war. It reminded me a little of a fight scene though. With each team gathered around with the battlers in the middle amidst loud cheering and jeering. They loved it of course. The cutest was Cupcake and my good friend Bev's youngest in friendly competition. TOO adorable.



Sar wanted to be Andrew's battle partner!!

The student takes on the teacher!



Cuteness reign supreme! Squeezableness!!!

   

From there where to go but target practice. We retrieved two guns from the armory (the side table ;-) and showed them the point system. Carl had drawn targets on our family room windows in a grid system. Points value being 5-15. Again we paired up the teams in a friendly challenge placing them against each other via size and age. .

Ready, Aim, Fire!

Seriously we get to shoot the WINDOWS. Can't. Contain. Excitement!!

Next was Rapid Fire.  Targeting again but well... rapidly. A line of Nerf targets and empty cans were set up on our fireplace mantel. Each child got 7 shots with two from each opposing team at the same time again.  However once a target was knocked down they were out of the running.  So each team member had to not only shoot accurately but also beat the other team to it. All good except for our clock. It got shot multiple times and was quite ticked. (hahahahaha I know, I know!)

Mr Clock is NOT a target. Shooting #11 does not gain you 11 points!!

Hogan's Alley- Now I wish I could say the set up was a true Hogan's Alley.  But alas we had to be inventive. Carl printed out hero's and villains from comic book series and cartoon video games (we wanted to keep this unrealistic) Each team member set up to fire. When the cardboard cutouts went up (manned by Carl)  they shot. Once a villain was shot he was down and out. A hero shot was a point taken away. They adored this game. It turned out to be quite challenging.

Halo works itself in somewhere! But of COURSE!!

The final Nerf game was what else but Capture the Flag.  They could NOT get enough of this.  They did not want to go in to eat pizza. They did not want to go home.  They begged for more, more, MORE! I decided we will have to do this again sometime in the summer.  Maybe add glow in the dark bullets, flares, and dog tags and make it Night Nerf Wars. But I am getting off track.  The game. Carl set up various "unnatural" hideaways made from boxes, old playhouses, yes even the hot tub lid. Whatever you have on hand, right? These allowed the kids to hide and evade.  Each end of the yard was set up a "fort"- blue on left and yellow on right. The goal of course to steal the other teams flag before all your team members are Nerf tagged out. We made it interesting by leaving things periodically in the hideouts to be found such as automatic Nerf weapons.  It was a resounding success.

Sneak attack!

A good offense is a good defense

 

We are sweet little harmless girls. Please don't shoot us! As they pull guns from behind back!

Final "game" was the very end game- a tank pinata. This will have to be reevaluated in the future. The kids always put a pinata on their list. The problem was the stampede that happened despite repeated warnings given prior to. All in all it was only bumps and bruises, but my heart went out of my chest there for a second or two. We filled it with the bday boys faves- Starburst, Sweet Tarts, Butterfingers, gum, and Airheads.

Rations

As mentioned above we had the "Mess Hall" to keep active boys satisfied.

Pizza and breadsticks were the main rations that evening.

Who is having fun was the question asked just prior to snapping picture!

And the birthaday cake was a  Butterfinger homemade ice cream cake and an Oreo ice cream cake as the birthday boy does not like traditional cake.



4 + 3 tanks + 3 stars = 10 years of blessings



Recipe as requested

I started with a base of ice cream sandwiches enough to cover the bottom of a 9x11 pan. That was approx. 11 total

From there I made a homemade chocolate ganache/hot fudge sauce from milk chocolate chips, heavy cream, vanilla, and sweetened condensed milk. Uhmm measurements unknown as I did it by taste. This sauce was spread thickly over the sandwiches.

Next was a layer of softened Butterfinger ice cream for the Butterfinger cake/ Cookies and Cream for the Oreo cake. If you would like to lighten it you can mix the ice cream with say Cool Whip. I did not as Andrew does not like Cool Whip.

Another layer of ice cream sandwiches for the Butterfinger cake. For the Oreo cake I switched it up a little here and used a layer of Oreos.

A final layer of hot fudge sauce.

Crushed Butterfinger bars or Oreo cookies to top.

Favors

Each boy went home with a small Nerf gun (team pack of 8's are available at Toys R Us or online), a camo favor bag with a camo ball, pencil, their notebook, and their candy.


The People Who I Could NOT Have Done It Without!!

The Commander otherwise known as the Amazing Dad/Hubby

My dear friend, Bev, who will no longer be my friend once she sees this. :-)

Dearest Martina who has been by my side for many birthday parties. Probably more than the fingers on both hands. ;-)

And because our much beloved Mariucci's were not there their WONDERFUL mom/grandma filled in to my utter gratitude. Love you, Mrs. Bradley!

The FABULOUS Danielle who is here in word only because she would not let me take her picture!!!

Sergeant at Arms Megan!!

Official Lil Man Watcher Ashley!

Birthday Boy's Verdict

"I wish the day would never end!!"

All in all a success!!  We had 24 kids total. 20 of them boys whom Andrew had grown close to over the years. The problem is that he is always making new "good" friends. But each boy remembers if they are not invited. Trust me I know this from hard experience, and I don't want to ever see that look on a little boys face again. Carl says we are going to have to downsize as it is getting crazy . But that can wait until next year! ;-)  For now I am made happy by the smiles on the boys as they left. And the joy that filled my son's face.

The Boy Who Was First!

Just a few days ago we celebrated.  We celebrated the boy who came first.


 The first time we felt the wave of emotions that flow like the tide as you discover a miracle is happening inside you- the gift of a child.  We felt so much of it during my pregnancy.  The celebration with a best friend when we both found out we were due within two days of each other. The wonder and awe that filled us as his first fluttering was felt. The fear and horror that filled our hearts as we heard words like only 30% chance of life, grapefruit sized tumor, and the worst- have you considered termination.  The absolute gratefulness that words cannot express as we heard his first cry and saw the miracle the Lord had worked in healing his little body enough to live in this world.  The fear we could not contain but with prayer as he had major surgery on Valentine's Day when he was just 13 months old.  The helplessness as he left our hands for the hands of a surgeon. The helplessness as we held him as he cried for hours as they could not get his pain contained.  But through it knowing he was held in the Greater Physician's hands.  His face at 2 years old playing peek a boo on our bed with Daddy.  Unable to contain his giggles nor could Mommy.  The memory of him at 3 years dancing in the fountains at Universal Studio's Islands of Adventure while those around him laughed with him at such expression of joy.  By four he had traveled all over the U.S. with Daddy and Mommy! 

Then life again for him changed.

In came the birth of one sister after another in quick succession.  And he became a big brother.  Conflict often with one and such patience with the other.  But love always expressed. 

He was growing into himself.  Good at just about everything he tries.  And the importance of humility and the sin of pride became things taught again and again.  Such a social creature who has more friends than the grains of sand on the beach I think at times. Yet we have to remind him that an example of righteousness is more important than causing his friends to dissolve into laughter. I watched the light on his face the day he got it with reading. The challenge in his gaze as he looks up a climbing wall and self confidently steps up. The gentleness by which he take his brother by hand or wrestles oh so carefully with his sisters and brother. The way he tilts his head as he absorbs the music he plays on the piano. Listening, internalizing its emotion, rhythm, and feel. His love of science and math and his struggle to enjoy reading. His heart for the Lord and desire to serve Him. The emotion I hear as he lifts his voice in prayer. His struggle so like his mother to prioritize. His dad's dry sense of humor, wit, and logic. We wrestle with his desire for independence already and struggle to walk the line all parents must walk between training and letting them learn through experience.

He is my first, and he holds my heart so very tight. He teaches me even as I teach him. We have had him for 10 beautiful years. And I never cease to be amazed by this blessing.

War paint on and ready for Nerf Wars!

This post more of a flow of thoughts springing forth than a true well written piece of narrative.  The images and emotions that fill my mind as I think back over the years.  And the thought that comes first, foremost, and last is "Thank you, Father, thank you. This gift is treasured.  This blessing fills my life, mind, and heart. And this gift help me give freely and fully back to you to use as you see fit."

Don't Make It Weird!!!

Around the table pencils, crayons, watercolors bring to life the creativity each child holds inside. As do all there is one who desires admiration of the work that came heart birthed. "Look at what I made!" says Fudge Brownie. Smiling with all the joy that fills most every action. The smile that lights up my heart.

But then as often happens one must account for big brothers. "Who are those people in the picture." he says. "They are Isabella, Kimberly, Izabel, Saryn, Sophie, Mikaela, and Joshua" she says confidently. Those friends she loves so dear. Big brother frowns, "Why is Joshua in your picture. There should only be girls in your picture. You can't have a boy friend." Already that protective streak surges ready to protect from harm. But my Fudge Brownie frowns furiously,  " Don't make it weird, Andrew.  Don't make it weird."

I laugh delighted with the by-play of brother and sister. The two who fight but love so fiercely. Yet other thoughts spin around my head.

Do we make it weird?
When people confuse us with actions that we don't quite understand? When one speaks, and we make more of it than we should? 
Do I make it weird? Do I attend to closely applying everything to myself? Do I dare to think it applies all to me?  Or do I live with humility understanding that in the scheme of things I matter small. Understanding that my understanding is my own. Leaving the meaning for them-  not applying my own. Do I overlook a matter looking instead into the heart? Do I dwell on the unimportant allowing the important to be swallowed up?

DO I TAKE FROM HIM? Giving my time and attention to making weird those earthly things instead of glorifying God who gives me all. My Lord who should be the center of my every thought.

Questions I must answer yes to more often than not. My mind redirects. My heart repurposes. I move back to simply resting. Simply applying God's truth instead of trying to employ my imperfect reasoning.

And I smile to myself . Yet again the Lord has taught me through those He has gifted me.

Proverbs 28:26
He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.

"She got mad and lost her head"

Oh, oh, oh, the mountains gonna blow!
Oh, oh, oh, the lava's gonna flow!
Oh, oh, oh, the ash is gonna rise!
Oh, oh, oh, there were pieces of the
mountain in your eyes, Up your nose
and down your chest! A little bit
deeper on every breath! She don't
care your point of view, now the
mountain's part of you!
RUMBLE!!!

Billy Jonas- Old St. Helen

The song plays loudly through the speakers.   The girls singing madly along in the back seat.  In the front seat all is silent.  Andrew and I both looking out separate windows.  I am pretending to concentrate on driving.  Andrew looking avidly at the "scenery"  "She don't care your point of view" my heart skips.  "Oh, oh, oh, the mountains gonna blow" the girls sing out.  The Holy Spirit moves within my heart.  He can take anything you see.  Even a fun innocent children's song to convict of us of our sin.

EARLIER-

"ANDREW, I told you to watch your brother.  Look now he is in the game pieces."  I yell.

"But, Mom, I was getting my shoes on.  That is what you told me to do." he protests.

"NO, you were not. You were looking for that ridiculous DS. Be honest. Quit shortening the truth to make yourself look better." I reply furiously.

"You are not doing anything I tell you to today.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU." I punctuate each word like a sharp knife.

"What is wrong with you." he replies defensively.

"Don't talk to me like that. I am your MOTHER. Just get in the car." I can hardly speak I am so angry. `

I stomp around getting the rest of the little's shoes, coats, etc and load them up.

Back to PRESENT

"Oh, oh, oh, the lavas gonna flow! Oh,oh,oh, the ash is gonna rise."

The words pounding into my brain as the silence from the right side of the car seems even louder. 

I rationalize to myself.  He was doing wrong.  Being disobedient, hedging the truth, speaking disrespectfully! Being almost 10 years old he should act better.  My heart stutters.  What about me! I am a grown adult woman. What kind of example did I just set?  What grace did I just show? What love and assurance of forgiveness for sin did I just demonstrate?   Was my anger a righteous anger?

BUT my reasons are righteous ones of wanting him to choose righteousness, honesty, self- control.    But did I want those things for the right reasons?  Did I want them so he would be more like Christ ...or so that my life would be easier, more comfortable, less stressful?  Had I allowed a righteous desire to become a controlling idol?  Was I honoring God by right behaviour?  If not, how could I expect him too.  My heart wept.

I slowly look at him- his set face, the too bright eyes.  "Andrew, I am so sorry! I hurt you with my words and tone. I reacted not because of righteous reasons but because you were not serving my needs.  My discipline should only be given to help you become more like Christ.  Will you forgive me?" I say hesitantly knowing of the hurt in his heart.

Slowly his hand creeps over to mine, and I enfold it close.  Two heart lighten.  Two hearts entwined.

Luke 6:42

Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye.

Eph. 4:32

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.

Agape

Personal time in the Lord in the morning is the foundation of my day.  When my day starts off secure founded on the Word the day follows more rooted in Him- less in self.  I am coming to the close of the book I have been studying these last few months- I Peter.  Chosen because I wished to companion it with Elizabeth George's Bible Study book "Putting on a Gentle and Quiet Spirit".  Lets face it here, those who know me well,   I often struggle to maintain such a spirit.


This is not to say I want to change the fact that I love to laugh, live life loudly per say.  Rather I wish to be peaceful in word, deed, countenance.  But that is not the topic of this blog.  As usual I find myself wandering off track where ever my thoughts are leading me.  :-)


 The topic is love.  What it truly means for us as Christians.  Recently I have found myself going back to a study I did on love while meditating on a passage in I Peter.  His Spirit convicting me yet again of rather my heart is showing His love the way He has commanded us to.


I Peter 1:22-2:1
²²Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently:   ²³Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.
²⁴For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away:
 ²⁵But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.
 
Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings,
 
My thoughts meander as is my way, but I will attempt to put before you the path they are taking.  So much yet to be learned.  Even more to unlearn.  However I am striving- striving with everything in me to show even the smallest speck of love to others that He has shown me-  My Christ who died on Calvary.
 
Mrs. George reminded me of this, " the fruit of the Spirit are nine qualities of life the indwelling of God the Holy Spirit produce in our lives when we are abiding in Him and walking with Him by His Spirit.  And what is the FIRST (emphasis mine) quality that life in Christ should manifest in us? It's love."  And Peter brings that to light in these passages  "Seeing ye have purified your souls"  he says- we are to love.  And is not the correlation beautiful-  as Christ loved us so I am to love you.   People are afraid of love these day.  The words I Love You being used either flippantly or not used at all.  Only in a few relationships are they spoken with any depth of meaning behind them that I can tell.  And when spoken in the context of brotherly love often spoken without understanding of their true meaning.  To love with agape is to love how?  Do I know?  And if I do do I obey?
 
How am I to love-
Peter says for us to love with a "sincere love"  Hmmmm! Ok! I think I am sincere. I would say I am sincere.  But let me double check what Mr. Webster has to say about sincerity.

1 a : free of dissimulation : honest
b : free from adulteration : pure

2: marked by genuineness : true

 And Mrs. George had this to say- "This means a love that does not pretend or merely "play-act".  We are not to merely express love verbally and in gushy terms... Sincere love holds no inward grudges while pretending to love on the outside, has no ulterior motives, and wants nothing from the one loved. "

Ouch!  To say that is hard is an understatement.  To remove self so totally from anything is a battle.  A war against your very nature.  To love sincerely is not an easy thing.  It is a conscious, continual decision.  A choice if you will with every interaction.   I do this for you because I love you not for what it may bring me or in pretense.

 
I John 3:18
"My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth."

That was fun.  Can I stop now, Lord?  But no His Word continues whispering in my heart and soul -love one another with a pure heart fervently:
I have got fervent if anyone has got fervent.  I do everything with passion! 
 Or do I.  A fervent love would be pretty much limitless would it not?  Pretty much the kind of love I feel when I see a stack of chocolate chip pancakes sitting in front of me drizzled with chocolate syrup and topped with whip cream and a cherry.  A do anything kind of love! Yowzers!

John 13:34

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

And it does not end yet.   Peter goes on to say that we are to love with a pure heart .
Mrs George calls it to love heartily.  Heartily- to love from and with the heart.  Your heart is the strongest organ in your body.  It works hard at what it does pumping at least 2,500 gallons of blood throughout your body each day.  So if we are to work heartily I would say we were to work STRONGLY with everything in us.

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

At this point in time I could get discouraged I guess.  After all a report card on my agape love after a heart check is a big fat F!!  But thankfully My Father is looking through a veil of blood given in love and sees a cleansed heart.  I know this.  Many times my heart checks end up exactly that.  Showing me exactly how far I have to travel.  Take strengh in the fact you are not taking this journey alone and forsaken.  This path is guided and mediated by a Father who knows the effort we each are making.  Each inch closer to becoming like Him.

 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' – Matthew 22:37-39

Our God is love. Also a God of justice but that is for another day.  As well is the continuum I did of this study about unity in the Spirit in the bond of peace!  This post has gone long enough.  Give each brother grace!
And most of all know you are loved with an everlasting love greater than one we could ever give.  He loves you and sent His Son.  A greater truth and a greater love there will never be found. Simple truth but profound.

Chasing the Wind!

The time is upon us.  You know the time!  You are thinking of the things you WOULD  do differently.  What you WILL do differently in '11!  The time of New Year RESOLUTIONS.  I know I am. I prefer to think of it though as the season of deep reflection.  A time of pure honesty before the Lord.  The season to look carefully at my actions throughout the year and how it speaks of my heart.  To give an account.  And to acknowledge before the Lord where my path has strayed.  Then to attempt to understand where He would like to see my walk with Him go forward in the year to come.   To listen to His still small voice speak His truth in my life. 

Psalm 119:26-28 

 ²⁶I have declared my ways, and thou heardest me: teach me thy statutes.
 ²⁷Make me to understand the way of thy precepts: so shall I talk of thy wondrous works.
 ²⁸My soul melteth for heaviness: strengthen thou me according unto thy word.

Yes! My soul grows heavy within me when I "declare my ways".   It often seems so much more than I can bear.  Vain effort is what the voice of Despair and Self Indulgence would tell me.  Chasing the wind that can never be caught.  I go round and round with the same sins, the same tendency, the same leanings.  

Ecc. 1:6
The wind goeth toward the south, and turneth about unto the north;
it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according
to his circuits.

Bu one can NEVER forget!  I am redeemed.  Free from all sin.  Bought from the gift of a Son.  A sacrifice given in love.   He is TRIUMPHET! He has given us the victory.

So why does each year my does my heart grow heavy as I reflect on the previous years mistakes and never reached goals. Why so many failures? . The answer is truly simple.  I am flesh on the road to sanctification. A hard road on which no victory is my own.   A progressive process- one step at a time. Slowly, painstakingly traveled over much longer than one year.  A road that will last my life long.  One with each victory made moment by moment, choice by choice. 

Hebrews 10:14
¹⁴ For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified.

We are BEING sanctified.  A work only our Savior can do in us.  But we are also commanded to work toward sanctification.  It is a process we are to willingly, obediently partake in.

2 Corinthians 7
 ¹Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

So how do I receive comfort enough to continue each January a practice I know before starting is going to be so very painful.  Why do I pick up the pen?  Why do I make my little list of subjects then proceed to define my goals for those areas every year?  Seeing  that so many of them mimic almost exactly last years goals?

I Cor. 7:8-11
 ⁸For though I made you sorry with a letter, I do not repent, though I did repent: for I perceive that the same epistle hath made you sorry, though it were but for a season.
 ⁹Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing.
 ¹⁰For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.
 ¹¹For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter.

What this beautiful epistle tells us- I am made sorry!  My own letter of fervent, prayerful introspection brings a vehement desire for repentance and change.  A fervent zeal to be what He would have me be.  And I draw strength from His Word.

Phil. 1:6
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform [it] until the day of Jesus Christ:

So I pick up my pen. I draw a deep breath.   And I begin again to seek change.  And choose to obediently, willingly, actively participate.  "Change me, oh Lord.  Bring about change this year- slowly, excruciatingly, but progressively mold me into your image."  I am victorious even now through your Son! I take each slow step already in triumphant celebration.